Personal Meyland

We are in crisis. At so many levels. We are unsure what to do with our lives and when we get what we thinks it’ll make us happy we start to panic because we may lose it. We never enjoy. As individuals we long for better experiences, something else and never settle. Something to keep us moving but sadly it has turned into a kind of drug.  We are not happy and we want to be but there’s never enough. Consumerism has invaded our lives and our minds so we always need more. That way we live our life fastly but we never have enough time to reach all the things we want to make and we want to be. It will be never enough. Everything has to be perfect (food, work, sex, friendship, experiences), and if it’s not, it has to look like it is on social media so people can envy us for something we pretend to have. Remember, we always compare ourselves with others. They have everything they need, they should be ok.  And then you realise that everybody needs somebody to listen to the

When the time comes and take us by surprise, when the emotions explode from someplace inside us like a storm we cannot control. But releases a deep need to clean all the pain even if we don't know how to manage it. And in desperation to look aside, we just try to find other ways to restore it, to make the pain go away without any damage. But it is not easy, there is no a way we cannot feel  about whom we shared moments and emotions with. It is not bad to endure,  it is not wrong to demostrate it, it is not bad to feel weak sometimes, It is part of our humanity. Otherwise... what are we? What the regular cruelty in the World have turn us into? Were we taught at any point that is a shame to feel bad? Why would we prefer not to deal with that kind of situation? I know, we all look for happyness. That's the reason of so many ways of experiences, Spiritual and physical in so many ways. So many things we can have to mute inhibiti

I like you Even if I don't want to Even if I always tried to deny it It has been so long since I felt curious And I started to admire you And get driven crazy about your ways to think And laught about everything I say or believe. Despite the fear and the conversations, And all the weird moments we shared Some days the stars were aligned just for us And everything seemed to be so easy... Just for some few hours. And then we go back to a reality where the alcohol is not used for an excuse where our fears are bigger than our instinct and we let pass another day without talking until the next not planned opportunity to be just us, as we want us to be. To share a place, a drink or a night even if it's just about taking care of the other from the other side of the living room, even if the only calm thought is to have you close I could not ask for any other thing different than that. Those crazy fantasies in my head will calm any bad Until I get no more lit

I know you lie to me The same way I do it to myself We look for an easy path to cover our steps We fear the fact of a possible change And all the new things that can bring. My hands are tied with you I can't say I know you as well as I'd like That way I cannot feel more things Others than physical atraction And maybe a deeply sensation of curiosity. You know you're difficult and you can pretend Being a cunt or vain, getting an armor around you, But at some point you opened yourself to me You showed me how you really were And that's scary and maybe impulsive To somebody you trusted at that moment. Did I dump your trust? Did I go to far? Did I ask for to much? I need to reinvent us. Even if in my head I still see you The way you were and I get attached To an ilussion of the past That might not come back again. What if we just hurt us tonight? What if we just let ourselves have fun? Because there's no way it will stay neat. We'll get

Sick of playing to be chased or the chaser Tired of seeing how your mood changes Depending on my actions And your desitions are so weak That could be broken in a second Like the million promises you did not care Taking to a better place and changing yourself. No, even if you try to impress me Even if you change your ways I deal with you knowing you won't change, Assuring in my head I should not expect change. Because I'm tired to wait for actions Listening to easy compliments Holding heartless ideas after all. Because you cannot see me ignoring you, me being around different people that brings more to a this lost soul that wants something new. You're not that person even if you tried. We both know nothing will change enough. And I am still hitting myself against the wall For being that stupid person Who believes in drastic changes When are less than subtles and tasteless Not enough to fill me up but just with anger. And still you make it easy