It's not easy

I know you lie to me
The same way I do it to myself
We look for an easy path to cover our steps
We fear the fact of a possible change
And all the new things that can bring.

My hands are tied with you
I can't say I know you as well as I'd like
That way I cannot feel more things
Others than physical atraction
And maybe a deeply sensation of curiosity.

You know you're difficult and you can pretend
Being a cunt or vain, getting an armor around you,
But at some point you opened yourself to me
You showed me how you really were
And that's scary and maybe impulsive
To somebody you trusted at that moment.

Did I dump your trust?
Did I go to far?
Did I ask for to much?
I need to reinvent us.

Even if in my head I still see you
The way you were and I get attached
To an ilussion of the past
That might not come back again.

What if we just hurt us tonight?
What if we just let ourselves have fun?
Because there's no way it will stay neat.
We'll get involved and all will be a mess.
We know we're both so OCD for that matter.
We know we're too afraid to try and go further.