What defines an Artist? Summer solstice

Today is winter solstice and I come across some typical questions I didn't even bothered remembering. 

Are you on the path you saw yourself at the beginning of the year?

I certainly had more hope for my shop but I am still finding the way to be a whole thing or to not care that much if it sells or not.

I am also becoming more independent of social media.

I am strong in my self-care morning routing, I neves scape a Morning pages even if it's just to unwind and ask little questions.

I am becoming more present. But there are times that I feel weird if I cannot focus as I used to. I start to doubt everything and myself ... and I guess today is one of those days. Nothing I did was fulfilling enough. Those days in which I think I have certain mental problems until my mind says, if you spend that long listening to your thoughts you might get sick of that.

I mean by this that if today I tend to negativity, all is going to look the same.

If I feel impatient and that nothing really moves I rarely will get anything done. I will be irritable and not pleasant to be around. Just quiet and getting upset for silly stuff.

It's also been a while since I talked with my parents and the fear of confronting an old presumption is not lovely to go to, if you ask me. 

I go in all directions trying to find that image and I get it when I close my eyes. It's just there waiting, and then I am too busy to listen to it. Worrying about all the people it didn't answer to me or worrying for things it might not happen.

Well, I have to slow down even if I felt I had to go back to do stuff. Choose one and give your full atention. Just one thing at the time.

I guess I haven't changed that much. I change. I am the same. I have quit to many things to look for a better body and mental health and I am still figuring out what I enjoy. And reminding myself of the feeling of it. But you know what? Just do it again and again to be a reminder. Good music and sit down and create. Nobody is saying that you have to do certain things. You experiment and discover. Lean on that path and get out renewed.

happy summe solstice 2021