Personal Meyland

 Today you want to hide. Let others speak, do not say things you don't know for sure. Or were never interesting in knowing for your own drive. I guess I was trying to focus on me. What am I? It? Can I be wind? Ether? just look at things and don't participate? Can I just crouwl into my bed and not get out? What's the point? Well, you'd get bored. It happens. One movie, two movies, one book, one painting. Many things on you bed to do so and rarely focus on one at the time. Ypou think about the next one. And at the end you don't feel like you did what you wanted. But what did you want to do? You don't know for sure, because you always learnt to like whatever was being done that would take you out of yourself. I can trick this into liking it. I am good at it so I must be doing this. Is that so? Maestra de muchos pero experta en poco. Do you want to go all the way for once? Are you afraid you will get bored? Like with people. I must get something new out of them. I m...

 Revence brings gifts. Giving power and respect to a moment can bring you wonder. The problem with some good and extraordinary experiences is that they can be turned into a habit or adiction. And when we fall into it we forget what root we follow to start this in the first place. Although it is good to follow pleasure and have moments for yourself in which you are just there, admiring and living the moment instead of looking for an outcome. There's moments that you don't want them to finish because that quiet voice might come out and tell you more secrets. It can help you connect ideas you didn't think about. And then all has a meaning and a sense that did not connect before in your mind. You were too busy to look for it or even wonder if it existed. And now you are there with lots of information and a mind trying to hold everything to not forget, not even the essence of it. But while some people are content with the memory and diverse ways to confirm and remember those exp...

I could write from the heart today and say that this (my path and current career) is the most beautiful surprise I could have come across to. Sometimes, things like this come when you get out of your way, when you give a chance to something new that it might look scary or have you unprepared. I can’t plan everything, and this I am glad to say that it was a lovingly unplanned trip to take. I wouldn’t have taken it any other way. And this morning I woke up just with the idea of negation to another possible adventure. “I don’t want this now”. But in the past I figured it out quite well. There's a difference, I’d say, because I was preparing at home for this without knowing. My head was already linking ideas to heal others or help them with small skin issues and lack of vitamins for immune system. And at the moment that I jumped into the pool I wasn’t that nervous (at least I can say that now) because I had tricks under my arm to get out to play a part. I had a story to tell and th...

 I missed this and I don't really now how to start.  I really wanted to bring a bit of light here as the week is just starting and the previous one had its bits of magic to bring along. Love. We have the power to transform everyone aroud us in the same frequency through that lenguage. Of course, there is people who need to learn to speak and understand that lenguage. Some are really far out, others in between. The rest, well, I believe in constant learning. Once passed the dark night of the soul, which is different for everyone, the time comes to realize that you have to care for your personal space. The bad that happened to you was coming indirectly from you not caring about the respect needed. It's not the need to be in guard all the time but to gently show that you respect yourself and that you are not afraid of anything. Why? Because once you have the power to change your reaction to outcomes, you can transfigurate your whole power to speak freely and connect. Respect is t...

  Today I want to talk about Care. Our own care, what we understand for treat, and why do we feel bad for being different. I love listening to people's cases of health problems related to health, simply because it puts a challenge before me to find them an alternative. Ego doesn’t belong to this path of service but the well used mind in order to cure others. After restoring furniture I came to understand that it was people who needed attention beforehand. So I focused on my mental health to understand why some days I feel weak or my mind just can’t have a moment of rest at night. Or maybe why I have wild dreams when I get to sleep just before the alarm goes off. Do any of these cases sound familiar to you?  I came to the idea today that “we are lost”. No purpose or aim to help others by giving what we are good at. We should be bright with our own light when we do what we like. Some of us aren’t here to be doing an easy job caged in a room. Some have their dreams to create thei...

The conversation started talking about a new design mop. Ours just broke so why wouldn't we buy the whole system that allows you to do the work for you? - Em, and trowing away a bucket in perfect shape? We don’t even mop that much, do we? - she said.  - Ya, but it would make our lives easier... it’d be easier to mop and squeeze the water out. - he said. - Cannot you use you wrists as I do? Oh, wait. That will be a great system for my mother! You can use your hands perfectly, otherwise they get atrophied. - she sentenced.  - Ya but I’d save time drying the floor when a bucket does it for me. She stopped and realized before saying in a "ahá" moment:  - That’s the principle of all new items. They save you time for you to waste it on your phone or whatever the way you just give it away. You know? Every time I see an object like that I first think `oh, that’s original!` followed by a second quick thought that says `wait, that’s stupid, or that will make me stupid!`. - Serously...

Today is winter solstice and I come across some typical questions I didn't even bothered remembering.  Are you on the path you saw yourself at the beginning of the year? I certainly had more hope for my shop but I am still finding the way to be a whole thing or to not care that much if it sells or not. I am also becoming more independent of social media. I am strong in my self-care morning routing, I neves scape a Morning pages even if it's just to unwind and ask little questions. I am becoming more present. But there are times that I feel weird if I cannot focus as I used to. I start to doubt everything and myself ... and I guess today is one of those days. Nothing I did was fulfilling enough. Those days in which I think I have certain mental problems until my mind says, if you spend that long listening to your thoughts you might get sick of that. I mean by this that if today I tend to negativity, all is going to look the same. If I feel impatient and that nothing really moves...

No soy perfecta, como nadie lo es. Pero huyo del negativismo y de lo fácil, ya que me aburre. No me expreso correctamente cuando hablo,  pero puedo escribirte un poema que te hará llorar y sentir más  que yo forzándome para estar a la altura de una "skill" que no es la mía. También puedo mostrar más con un retrato o un paisaje cuando sobran las palabras. No soy perfecta, pero ¿quién lo es? Puedo cambiar y aunque me cueste, estoy abierta a conversaciones que me despierten de mi error. Mi ego se sentirá herido, mientras que mi mente sentirá como si el universo me dijera algo  previamente no escuchado desde la lejanía de mi rincón de victimismo. No soy perfecta, y te aseguro que nadie lo es. Te puedo escribir, dibujar, incluso embarcarme en el "messy" proyecto de hacerte una tarta Pero te aseguro que esas pequeñas cosas me darán más gusto  Estarán hechas con más cariño que el de comprarte un mero presente deseado. Me alegra alegrar a la gente con lo que hago, me llena ...

Hacer las cosas fáciles para ti no significa que sea más amiga tuya. Sino que tengo que sacrificarme un poco más para entrar en lo que tú consideras amistad. He empezado un poco fuerte pero estoy teniendo muchos pensamientos en lo relativo a este tema.  ¿Qué es para vosotros la amistad? Dando igual si es a distancia o en tu lugar de residencia. Para mí es aceptar los cambios que suceden en sus vidas y que me inspiren de forma que podemos compartir ideas juntos. ¿Qué puede ser para otros? Público. No, lo digo en serio, hay tanta gente perdida entre redes sociales y una forma falsa de llevar la vida que lo que buscan es a alguien que les escuche. Ya si cuentan realidades o simplemente se intentan amoldar a lo que te gusta, eso es difícil de ver. Durante mi vida semi adulta he pasado por malos tragos con amistades debido a mi ... llamémoslo "inseguridad mezclada con total confianza ajena o miedo a ser herida al no tener espacio personal intransferible definido".  ¿Por qué estamo...

Partnership is not just commitment. It's to grab the others hand when struggling, It's to give a small piece of yourself and your good intentions. It is to share, to think for two as a group, not as one. Let aside the selfishness and think of the good gestures: Maybe what your crave now can be a surprise for him/her.   Being together is a respect predicament, A joint of two forces that holding onto each other reach for the same light: Nobody blocks no one’s light in order to raise more into the sky. It is not a race: is it not about superiority but a companionship. It can be difficult to work in groups, it can seem easier to go ahead yourself... But when your energy flow reaches a point in which you need a hand It will feel good to find it in that person who you might have helped before.   It is not a co-dependent relationship that ends up in two blended minds But a combination of two strong forces, that being watched and cared for independently, they both can contribute to el...

  I am not gonna get instructions coming from blocked people anymore, just don't. Imagine a situation in which you just get your ears unblocked and meet others that cannot hear, so they ask you, shouting, that you should block them a bit so that you all shout at each other and keep being noisy and scattered minded. That was the situation I came from. An ambient full of half people in denial and the other half being a workaholic for the mere responsibility of having to feed so many dependant mouths. So that would end up getting the person a bit frustrated because what was fun at the beginning, now it's a necessity. I was raised in that environment. My sister was too. And even though it took me time to realize that I did not have to prove my value according to my studies and grades and what I was aiming to work as, I saw that my people did not overcome that initial state. It's like grabbing a truck full of shit that needs to be thrown somewhere else but the truck driver got i...

 In the same way that I might be smarter or deeper in my mother tongue I can assure you that I can find ways to express in Art that I can't otherwise. You can tell to learn other ways, or to channel my words in order to get to you, But then I realize that I have been bloking my true language away from me. I speak with images and I learn through them I won't be told stupid to not learn in ways that is predisposed I won't let myself to feel less for not following certain rules Wanting to make other new ways to fix the same problem. The end is what matters at the end. And I just seem to rebel the pre-existing ways sometimes. I can follow other times and that auto-mode will lead me here, to you To some words that need to get out and tell you a story, my story. I am channeling here to whoever is interested to connect with it I cannot change other people's channel that don't aling with mine. But I won't change in order to fit in their channel either. Because that woul...

Is it a problem what I feel openly? Does it make me depressed to talk about my feelings easily? The one making the difference is usually seen as the crazy one. The one talking the problem is usually the one who is "the problem" for the rest. I just know WHAT I want. I am just discovering WHO I am. And I love it, and it can make me more introvert, happy in solitude more than often. Instrospective days stirring feelings and ideas that before wouldn't occur. WHY? Because I was meeting people most of the day. But do not get me wrong. I can be social. And I'll learn about me too. Although those moments of Ahá! about myself will come from learning alone. I do not need numbing pills, thank you.  I do not need to tell a stranger my problems than friends find concerning. Just maybe because they worry for me what they hide in theirselves. It is Ok to be vulnerable. It is Ok to share feelings. And it is OK to feel bad or good. Because that is what make us human. And I won't ...

 Lo están consiguiento. Estos hijos de p**a lo están consiguiendo. O así al menos me siento yo que me comen las paredes de una casa que era un santuario. Cuando estoy sola estoy triste y cuando estoy acompañada estoy ausente. Con tal de hacer el momento menos depresivo hablando de "la situación" como si de Lord Voldemort se tratase. Pero esa "sin nombre" se adueña del humor general y genera zombies que intentan seguir una rutina normal, acostumbrándose a lo que falta en sus vidas. "Ya llegará". Pero y cuando llegue, ¿qué será de nosotros? ¿Querremos volver a ella? Y diréis, "al menos tú estás recibiendo el paro". Sí pero me tienen callada y "segura" en una casa vacía con gente que está viviendo lo que yo, cada vez más sola. Porque señores, las redes no acompañan, sino que aíslan más. Estoy harta de sentirme así y de seguir las normas para quedarme como un vegetal mental pero muy bien de salud. Llega un momento que un poquito de riesgo d...

Today I was about of giving up. I was finishing tasks of started things but really, I was not motivated as I was days ago. And I guess it is part of the process. It’s just ridiculous how a silly event can weight you down so badly. And I am sharing this precisely because it can happen to anybody in this art world of any. We need to keep believing in ourselves. And when somebody doesn’t seem to see it we blame ourselves. No. That should not be the case but we do. We might think there is something we aren’t doing right. Maybe we don’t ask enough, or don’t share what is silly enough to be liked. Or we do not have time yet to make videos talking about our live because it’s easier to just write about, right? Well, guys, this will pass. Do you know the solution for that? Create more, fall in love with your process and do one step at the time. Feel better about learning from challenges that put you out of your comfort zone. And just be happy with the fact that you care about your art, mayb...