Almost giving up

Today I was about of giving up. I was finishing tasks of started things but really, I was not motivated as I was days ago. And I guess it is part of the process. It’s just ridiculous how a silly event can weight you down so badly.

And I am sharing this precisely because it can happen to anybody in this art world of any. We need to keep believing in ourselves. And when somebody doesn’t seem to see it we blame ourselves. No. That should not be the case but we do. We might think there is something we aren’t doing right. Maybe we don’t ask enough, or don’t share what is silly enough to be liked. Or we do not have time yet to make videos talking about our live because it’s easier to just write about, right?

Well, guys, this will pass. Do you know the solution for that? Create more, fall in love with your process and do one step at the time. Feel better about learning from challenges that put you out of your comfort zone. And just be happy with the fact that you care about your art, maybe there will be somebody who will feel about that too (many perhaps!). But right now you focus on your self-confidence and process.

Keep looking for your voice, keep searching your message. You just started, and if you have been trying for a long time, maybe you need to try another way that you still feel ok with it. What I mean by this is, do not force it. Do not make it sound like it is not you.

I am very closed myself, and I am starting to feel comfortable about letting people know my feelings and process. And maybe I won’t feel confident by saying what I do to certain people who according to my mind have their lives solved.

Well, hello? We’re all in a crazy time in which everyone is trying to cope with it the best they can. So let’s stop pretending that everything is fine. I am copying with situation my way and I am glad to say it is making me fall in love again with my art and myself. But it needs daily care. Daily trust. Daily support. I need to believe it. Otherwise, there will be lacks when I talk about it. At the end of the day it is me who is starting to recover from past issues, not the person talking to. Because the most important thing to change in my mind is that I do not need validation. I do not need to sell what I do as a way to look more impressive. I just do it because I love doing it and it is a need from my whole self. If a person does not like it is their problem. It is an aim for me and I am lucky I found the way to release that stress, fear and anxiety.

This is what social media can do deep down if we rely so much on it. It can be a helpful tool to reach people but it has also another dangerous edge that can hurt deep down. And this is what needs to be reminded to the ones starting professionally in this with their hobby. Balance it.

I was lost for a second, until I saw my zebras-amulets. Until I remembered the things I still want to make for myself. You are welcome if you want to know the process. It won’t be easy at first. But I hope that it gets more and more stable in time. And if not, it is ok too. Relax and let it flow.

16/2/21