Personal Meyland

I write out of overwhelming feelings in a time when I cannot literally stop thinking of you. Did I go mad? Not the kind of crush-passion-toxic madness. This one is different. It brings me peace and a sense of steelness that it feels unreal, out of this world. As if I was speaking to me all the time, walking with me. But with you as part of that experience. Quiet at times, chatty at others. I don’t need to fill the gap of silence. I won’t speak if I don’t feel like because we both know that, at that moment, we will be just immerse in our visions and minds. Maybe as a way to shut our thoughts down for a while. And even if you are not here, you are present around. I miss you but I don’t need you as a toxic drug. I just feel really well when you are around and I will make sure I drink all of your essence, living intensely your presence. And we will be living at the edge in a quiet, passionate way. Does it make sense? I am literally trying to make it because it’s all new f...

Looking at the past I realized I don’t know me. I tried to be someone in the search of looking for myself but I didn’t actually fit well in that shape. Is like trying to get yourself in a dress that it feels weird in some parts of your body but you don’t know how to fix it. This time is being a huge opportunity for me to listen more carefully to what my instinct is telling me, my heart and my head. They don’t always agree but ultimately they are guiding me in the same direction. There are no opposite forces that pull me in different directions, creation different sides of myself. And maybe there are different sides of myself but now they are calmer and more aligned. Part of it I believe is because I committed to my dreams. I stopped my life for weeks even if I already knew my path to follow but I tended to look back in order to reinforce my decision. It feels right but still, it is not the only thing I need to do and the point of slowing down and listening and learning it...

La Suerte está ahí, solo hay que cogerla. Y ese día se dispuso a salir sin más, sin pensar el destino ni replantearse el motivo. Envuelta en una imagen independiente y segura, una burbuja que para un buen futuro debía llevar consigo y acostumbrarse a su compañía. Atrás quedó el periodo rebelde y triste que ya no se creía nadie. Había captado a una persona cautivada de una figura atractiva, de esa imagen desenfadada que dejan ver las que visten así. Casi parecía imposible pensar en las décadas pasadas en las que se sentía como una cualquiera por llevar una falda corta de mercadillo cutre. Lo hacía por alguien, no tuvo que ir a ningún show a que le peinasen y vistiesen como una barbie , podía encontrar su propia forma sin parecer irreal, adaptarse al cambio con las pautas que ella misma se iba imponiendo, la forma de ser acompañaría al resto.  La figura ya no era la misma, inversamente proporcional a su convicción. Lo que hace depender de alguien, lo que te aporta el cariño ...

"La pasión no sabe esperar. Lo trágico de la vida de los hombres estriba frecuentemente en no saber esperar". Quizá por tal .... Por besar la ocasión que tus labios niegan Se pronuncian a ocupar un lugar diferente Y me niego a apagar la sombra que me cubre. Si por tal y cual... Si se camuflan en mi piel los sabores perdidos Y renacen como voces apagadas, Me marchito por dentro sin consentimiento ajeno, Me lleno de pétalos pálidos esperando un regreso. _Mey_