Personal Meyland

Following my star, I've been obsessed with the idea of love. I've been losing myself trying to get an addictive feeling in a place and a moment when running away from work left to be done was usual. Almost like in the old days. I've been in love with the idea of love. But not getting to connect with a person completely. Because the idea of what I needed not necessarily matched with the reality. In the case I ever did connect I got scared looking ahead. It's much safer to nurture self-love. It's less risky and more gratifying. I am not ready for other than myself. If you are smart enough, don't mess with me. Ain't no good. I'm hard work. I cannot belong to you. I am too independent now and needed of myself to be taking care of you. I don't want to loose that. I cannot loose myself again in that insanity. Let me be excited about the boost of affection we might need sometime. But after a few days I will go back to my way where I left it. ...

Let me tell you that I need to set my boundaries. But before I close the door I need to set my darkness free. It has been haunting me deep inside and today I decided to confront it with the courage I have left. Long time have passed since all the chaos took place in my mind and yours. Long days of conversations, tears and regrets. A point of no return that it will remain within us forever. But I don't come today to tell you that all was forgotten. That the time spent was for nothing. But I am a slow learner. I am a dreamer thinking the best of everybody until I get hurt. An despite the fact that I resent some actions from you I have them from me. I won't act the way you need it. I won't do the things you would. It's my life. It's my mind. It's my body. It's me with all my mistakes and new shades. I am not looking for any validation. I don't pretend that nothing even happenned. I am here to say that everything still remains and shaped me t...